It’s begun … another winter of adventures abound.

My kids are ski racers. Yes – I know, not a common sport, however this is one they LOVE! They have actively been skiing now for 5 years, since we moved back out west.

Little did we know when we signed up for the racing team, what that meant. I have to say, naivety of both myself and husband was pretty evident that first year. Now, after 4 years on the team, it feels like we have a (somewhat) system going for the 3 times during the week they are at the hill.

ANXIETY .. AND SO IT BEGINS

With the season beginning, my emotions and anxiety start to go rampant. SO many worries arise from an accident on the hill, a lost child at the mountain, to my own terrifying fear of the sport.

I once loved this activity, from starting out night skiing in high school, which then my skiing days lay dormant until the kids started up.

THE FIRST YEAR (OR SO)

The first year or so was really good! When I was up on the hill, though my skills are still developing, I felt the freedom to take the path down that I chose. No restrictions in my way, other than the skills I was currently learning.

After a few years into it, something seemed to switch within me, and I was so anxious to go out. We had taken lessons from their coach and other instructors, and while I was being taught I felt comfortable and all seemed to be under control. The issues were on my own.

AN ANXIETY ATTACK

I believe I’ve always struggled with a certain amount of anxiety. It hit me hard though one day when we were out on the hill. The kids were out with the team, lapping through their courses and my husband I and I out on our own.

All of a sudden, I skied over the edge of the run and could not move. Frozen and riddled with panic and fear. My breathing elevated and tears streaming down my face. Questioning and panicking about how was I going to get down this hill.

In reality, I only had a few hundred feet to go. Eventually I made it down after conversations with my husband, and gathered the inner will knowing once I was down, I’d be in the lodge and not have to face this daemon again.

ONTO ANOTHER YEAR

I’m taking back the fear I let myself once have. This year is another year and I’m bound and determined to get out there and explore.